Over 50

Go down

Over 50

Post  Imperfection on Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:01 pm

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists.. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million Dribble off
Old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

MAJESTIC VANNER, Proud, Passionate, Paid Up 2017!

Posts : 1981
Join date : 2010-06-29
Age : 58
Location : wallsend

Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  RAEME on Fri 14 Feb 2014, 7:59 pm

I'm pretty sure you can join at least the reserves in your 50s


Posts : 45
Join date : 2013-07-23

Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  Kiwivan on Sat 15 Feb 2014, 7:17 am

I would make you a general! Twisted Evil 


Posts : 90
Join date : 2011-08-01
Location : In your rear veiw mirror!

Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  blur1 on Sat 15 Feb 2014, 8:59 am

join 'dads army'!!!!
MAJESTIC VANNER, Proud, Passionate, Paid Up 2016!

Posts : 755
Join date : 2013-08-08
Age : 55
Location : melbourne

Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  feral8 on Sun 16 Feb 2014, 2:57 pm

 Most 18 year olds look like they been in the scrapnel zone  with all the crap in there faces thesedays ,but as we know they'd get dad to go for them anyway ,, its to hard ,,its to hot,, gotta put my dole form in ,, there all allergic to movement nowdays

Posts : 33
Join date : 2014-01-14
Age : 51
Location : trowutta tasmania 7330


Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  Rusty62TransAm on Thu 27 Feb 2014, 1:12 pm

Good one James!

 lmao2 Respect1 


Twisted Evil chev    


Holdens, TransAm Fronts, Custom Mods, Tunnel Rams & 350 Chevs!

At the EASTER 2012, and the October 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 & 2017 Van-Ins  
We Relived the 80's & Embraced the New Millennium!  
If you weren't there, You missed out on a few of the Eastern States' Most Popular & Successful Annual Vanning Events since 2012!

The 2018 Van-In Albury/Wodonga #07 and Hervey Bay #03 will be from Friday 28th September to Monday 1st October!
Keep an Eye on this Forum for more updates.

We have Chapters in Qld, NSW, Vic & SA and pending Chapter in WA.

Club Rego available in QLD, NSW, Vic & SA.
MAJESTIC VANNER, Proud, Passionate Life Member!

Posts : 6877
Join date : 2009-12-02
Age : 55
Location : All the way from Hervey Bay to The Beautiful Hamilton Valley & back again!


Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  Epic_Dragon on Tue 04 Mar 2014, 11:42 am

awesome Very Happy hahaha!! the movie battleship proved the older folk are better at dealing with enemy Very Happy i mean they and the old ship kicked butt!!!!!!!

Majestic Vanner. Proud, Passionate and Paid Up!
Majestic Vanner. Proud, Passionate and Paid Up!

Posts : 1224
Join date : 2009-12-07
Age : 32
Location : Wistow SA

http://add me on facebook, leonie dean or myspace www.myspace.co

Back to top Go down

Re: Over 50

Post  Sponsored content

Sponsored content

Back to top Go down

Back to top

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum